change.....

Time and again there has been onething that surely has not left me, at any foot step. And that is "misconception". Its like my shadow that follows me everywhere, no matter where I go. I always tried my level best to get rid of it, but my dear friend is too attached, to leave me all by myself. Its just like the fevicol ka jor, 'tutega nai".

In my teens, I always used to be troubled by the fact, that why is it, that its always me whom people dont tend to understand. I seriously thought things where wrong with me, but now when I sit to think over it, I dont know why, I feel, it was vice versa. We always try to explain others the real THING. But till when will we keep on doing it, till when??... there will be no end to it. Pleading and begging, clarifying that I am not wrong, is no more my cup of tea. If you are giving importance to all the crap what others say, justifies only onething, that you dont have faith in yourself.

 Long gone are the days, when people thought they could shake or break me. If you don't want to understand, I simply don't want to explain. Feel free to have any notion about me, 'coz in any way this wont effect my life. I live life, as I want to, you do the same, then where lies the problem. As time passed I understood onething, that the ball is not always in your court, if people are against you accept it, they want you to react but dont give them what they want, and at the end, with no other way left, they will stop. "I cried the whole day, when one ofmy good friend stopped talking to me all of a sudden." said one of my friends. Onething that she should have understood was, her friend was never a good friend, if she would have been she wouldnt have left her for some flaws. We take vows when we get married, one of them is that "we will stay together in good or in bad", friendship also has this vow in its rule book, unspoken and unproclaimed. The people who want to walk out of our life, will eventually do it, no matter how much you try and hold them back. It just that, its hard to believe, but we are helpless. If your good friend walks out of your life, how long do you think you will shed tears?????????. You have to except the fact that they are no more a part of your life and that they are not interested to be one. Its of no use to wait for something that has gone with the wind.  When we miss the chance to catch a bus, we simply curse our luck and wait for the other one to come, shouldnt we implement the same in our life. Accept life as it comes, whether good or bad.

Breaking and Making...........

With a bruised heart and cut hands, we always say.."NEVER AGAIN. Never again,i will allow anyone to hurt me so badly. There will be a no second time"..Determined to put a full stop to our lives, thinking it to be the "the end"..But eventually, we realize it was just a comma and a passing phase, leaving us stronger than ever.

Heart breaks are common, but whats not common is the way people take it. Crying for days, locking oneself in a room, are usually the negative after effects for girls, and for boys they find solace in listening to music or by breaking stuffs(specially cell phones). The block buster one is deleting one's social network account, detaching oneself from the world and mourning for the dead relation. The worst cases are not these though. The ones who actually are having a miserable time are those people, who have a broad smile on their face. The general notion being that "they are not bothered", but trust me its the other way round. Hidding their grief, with extention on the lips is the saddest soul on the earth at that juncture.

Some say that, why would one choose to do so,its just a wrong perception. I just have one explaination, they dont want their sadness to act as a negative catalyst in someone elses life. Following the slogan, "live and let live."

The funny part for some girls being..that more than the grief of losing someone its more about whom will we blame for every little thing that goes wrong except for god,goverment and politics..."u are responsible for this"...will be a line that we wont be able to excrete from our system, leading to constipation jokes apart. We feel good when we blame others for the ups and down in our life.

The hope for things getting back to normal is something which is not very volatile. People dont get rid of it easily. There is a variation in the time span, for people to come out of the breaking stage and to enter into the making stage. One of my friend took somewhat 3 years to come out of it completely and move on. After the annoucement that he made, that he had finally moved on, his way of expressing  his happiness was "yes!!! yes!!! yes!!!!!..at last I did it". Hard it was, but the joy he got, after leaving his past far behind was unexplainable. Breaking up can be bad, but the making process of a different human being has to be better. The main ingredient being, the will to move on and accept life as it comes. With open arms i welcome both Sadness and happiness, to top it up with I have a little thrill and curiousity, to know whats instored more for me by FATE. A heart break doesnt stop you from breathing, then why to stop "living life king size"....
 And yes with a new zeal to experience the upcoming possible brand new relation,
I toast for the single heart broken women... ;-)   

missing people who are missing in your life...is that normal?

One of my friend was in a dilemma. She had this question in her mind,
 "is missing people who are missing in are lives quite normal?"
People tried to answer her question, so did I, but somewhere it made me think about it deeply.
How many people were there in my life who were an important part in these 20 years but are not now..!?
I dont know, I really couldn't sit and recall everything, or to put it better everybody.

The next question in my mind was..What should be the intensity of missing someone??
It does depends on the level of importance one has had in our lives, but more than that, it is a fact that plays a vital role and that is how much have we moved on?! Someone said its hard in d beginning and its okay to miss d freshly sliced part of your soul, but later on, crying over something which is long buried is abnormal. But cant we just shed a tear, and miss d person normally, may be even remembering the happy times??.. is that hard??.. the answer every individual has is different. "Depends on the level of importance ....If it is good ridance of garbage then dnt" was the answer for someone but for me, "it depends....emotions sway us away many a times to wrong directions, we shouldn't go for it.........but yes if missing the person who had a major place in your life and sumwhat is the reason for emptiness..dont stop the feeling...feel every bit of it"..its like if we can laugh over the happy times why not at the sad ones..enjoy every bit of your life and face it as it comes.

If its, the gifts and souvenirs that we are ready to keep aside, away locked in a box, its 'cos we never want to have an encounter with it. We simply are running away, but we forget that its just an action which doesn't hold much of importance. Somewhere somehow you can be reminded of the past, probablity being 1, and the souvenirs will have no role to play at all. Then whats the use of doing it when just the flash of the name pushes us back in the past??. People think that, if it has got to do with relation then the future life partner might have a problem. But isn't that a shield we are using, rather corvette to protect  ourselves from the attack of other's who still believe that at the end of the day "WE ARE BOTHERED". We are ready to move on and experience new memories instore but new one's can never take the place of the old one's. Every one has a distinct place in our life. May be their value decreases with time.
We are great liers, but the reality never changes. It remains rock solid...
and yes its normal..

the changing phases..

being in ur twenty's always makes us feel that we are mature enough to understand everything. But are we??..especially when it comes to relations..do we actually know what exactly we need in our
Mr.Right. or rather even if we know, are we ready to negotiate...do we know till where??.. to frame it in a better way...till when..??coz when reality dawns on the fact that in the beginning we are just ready to do anything and everything, but as it moves forward we get so bugged at lil things...its more of "y me and not u"..."y i have to do everything".."its me who is always blamed" ..and finally...from "us" again it shifts focus to "u and me"..

some might think that its time to say goodbye, but no i dont think so.. just a lil polishing and there will be a rendezvous with ur fresh romantic relation again...SPICY AND JUICY..and a smile whenever d name blinks.

May be we dont have a Mr.Right for us, then what should we do stay single throughout our life..or just go on having a gala time in life with anybody and everybody...just like Samantha did.  Somewhere in d corner of our heart we like it when things are filmy in our life..but the crest and troughs are not easy to handle nad thats for sure. Someone somewhere had told me " if u want 2 and 2 to be 4, it will be..there is nothing to think about.. d word sacrifice wont creep in ur mind also. But if u force urself to do something it will be a 5".
 Thank u Dr.Sen i just got the answer i was searching for.