Your Crush, my crush ;)

Often I used to think why people go so crazy over a stupid crush, its over-reacting, exaggeration and total foolery.  Did not quite exactly believe in the constitution, that one look could make you go mad, crazy, go weak on your knees, only to want more. Ahh !! When I look back, I think was it actually me who had a crush, like really, on a GUY (because I am generally found checking out girls) and that too just on looks. 

So a little flashback, I used to think that my crush was a guy full of attitude and too be honest, to full of himself. That’s why I did not develop any fondness for him, for quite a long time, though I landed up seeing him every day. Now this one night, I see him in my dream and I go gaga over him from the next day. I was happy about one thing, was saved from getting bored, I had someone to stalk (for the first time) and yes I was not the only one, so many girls had a crush on him. Imagine all of them standing in one of the common area to get a sneak peak of him. It was outrageous and hilarious, cause none of us had the guts to go and talk to him, let alone pass a friendly smile.  

Going to watch him do anything, eat, sleep, play (well watching him sleep was not on list, strike it out), and our friends nudging us, whenever he passed except for balloons flying, flowers blooming and romantic music playing, everything happened, we kinda skipped a beat. But THE MOMENT was when I got a fb message from him. I guess he realized I had a crush on him, thanks to my super expressive face. We started talking and we stopped, thanks to my numbness and stupidity, I used to get so lost.  

Indeed I got so lost, that I did not even acknowledge this one friend who had started to like me.  We used to chat and tease each other with the silliest of people in college, and we realized we both had a crush, I guess he thought he was my crush. I am a curious soul, so I started nagging him, to know who the lucky girl was, never to dream that it was actually me (embarrassing, I know) and when I was asked, I had to admit, “Dude, I am sorry it’s not you, but someone else”

It was weird, me discussing my crush with the guy who had a crush on me. I readily going out with him, letting him buy me flowers and treat me. All at the mercy of heart, the phase was crazy and just not me. And yes, out of sight, out of mind was the end result of my crush, sad for him, he faded out of my dream. Out of everything, the question that would remain alive forever is “ Who is your crush/my crush?”

Feelings!!

When you draped me in that white sheet, you
touched my soul. when you kissed my eyes, you entered my heart. The feeling that I absorbed within me that day, it would only be YOU and no one else.


I had thought "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours" would be our weddings vows. Unaware that the volatility of those words were so high. Didn't know, they were soon to be lost in the oblivion.

Out of sight, out of mind, is that what happened to my image. Is it, then let it Rest In Peace. I ponder, of the time long gone and the pain I endure in my heart, but in vain. I feel its better to be lost in the clouds of dream and sleep over the feelings that were once green.

Confessions of a 20 something...: We smiled

Confessions of a 20 something...: We smiled: In the ocean of hearts, I found yours. We met, we smiled together, joined hands and sailed together. The time of parting wa...

We smiled

In the ocean of hearts, I found yours. We met, we smiled together, joined hands and sailed together. The time of parting was near, it was hard. We smiled and kissed goodbye. Never knowing if we would meet again, never knowing if we would smile in the cold wind again.

Time and again the twinkle of your eyes flashes in front of my eyes, the urge to meet again, makes me sober. At the destined place, I stand waiting for you, the response time increases and so does my heart beat. Will I return disappointed again to my little word?

I again wonder, Is it time to move on? Is it time on roll on? Brushing my hands off the sands of time. I hereby decide, enough of you I have had, though you will always be mine, its time we smiled and bid goodbye, never to meet again as destined.

Endless thoughts!! part2

Life is full of surprises and there is no doubt about that, but sometimes landing up doing such things which you could never picture yourself to do in the near future, takes you aback. When I look back at the days long gone by, I wonder how many things did I believe, "I would never do". The result was preposterous, not 1, not 2, but innumerable. 

"Was that possible?", I questioned myself. laughing out loud in instalments after being reminded of incidents that occurred here and there somewhere in life. With every passing stage I believe the thought process is updated, a new version every time. Expecting a lot not only from the surrounding but also from the world at large. A feeling that just creeped in, is, that changes in relationship and bonds are the outcome of our own actions and reactions, attachments, feeling, emotions, which at every step changes bit by bit and *boom* We are someone, we never new.

Endless thoughts!!

Standing on the shore
Throwing pebbles ...
Creating ripples
Thinking... is it??.. rather stopping myself to think anything at all.
Forcing myself to comprehend all..
Behaving strange, makes me wonder "Is it actually me?"..

The mirror is a deceiver .. shows my clone
Who appears to be much more calm than actually I am.
Endless thoughts penetrate my little brain..
Dark eyes gloomy with pain.
All is lost and there is nothing to gain
Every time I get up, my spirit is slained..

Sleepless nights and countless stars..
Strange, unfathomable darkness.
Living the past.
Have all the good moments 'Gone with the wind'??.. I just wanna ask.

Hibernation!!

Hibernation, couldn’t we human beings go for it once, a couple of times would do good too. When life becomes stressful and your hands are full, you just need some time for yourself desperately but to spice up the situation and dramatizing it a bit, a list of complains are to be dealt with. One is showered with such dialogues, “You don’t have time for me”, “I am no more there in your priority list”, It seems u forgot us” and blah blah blah…..the list goes on and on. Argh!   Give me a break.

At times when we imagine hypothetical situations we believe any issue no matter how melodramatic can be handled with ease but when the reality dooms over us, the best solutions that appeals us is sleeping over it. Doing everything possible, except pondering over the POINT!!.

Lately I have been observing this that every homo sapien, no matter how strong mentally, wants solace by detaching oneself from the world. A way to absorb the pain in yourself and to bury it deep, never to shoot it out. It does help and that fact cannot be denied. When things are not in your favour and you are in a dilemma, I feel like running away somewhere. Just one thought crosses my mind, how I would love to watch someone walk into my shoes and do the need full. Judging, praising and criticizing under the invisible cloak. How different it would have been to see the unknown, when the road not taken is opted......